"What have you done?" Levi looked wearily over at me, "she's going to expect something out of us now."

"Not us- she's going to expect something of you," I shrugged, "it's not really my problem, you're the one who has to try and woo me now."

not that it'll ever work

"In your body."

oh shit

"We absolutely must convince your mother of the truth."

"You're finally making sense."

"What can I say, I'm a genius," I winked over at him. "We should just make preparations to leave as soon as possible- you can tell her that you failed to win me over while we were away."

"Do you really think that she's that easy to fool?"

"I guess? I mean she seems relatively easy going, it really shouldn't be that difficult-"

"You're a dumbass."

"Most people just tell me I'm pretty."

"She's one of the most powerful women in this country and now she thinks that we'd be a good couple, if I insist that I failed to win you over she'll say shit to me about how I should try harder," he grumbled, "worst case scenario something frustrating happens like a marriage proposal sent out on our behalves."

she seemed like the kind of person who wouldn't force anyone to do anything?

"Would she really do that?"

"I wouldn't put it past her," a dark cloud had suddenly settled over our otherwise happy day. "Your plan won't work."

"Ok," I paused, thinking it over, "do you have any better ideas?"

"Well-" Levi got that constipated look on his face.

"Well?"

"Forget it."

"No I won't- you have a plan don't you? Just say it, I promise to be free of judgment," I put my hand over my heart, staring sincerely at him.

it's hard to lie to that face

i mean ...

i'm beautiful

"She would leave us alone if we gave it a shot," Levi muttered, avoiding my gaze.

WHAT

"Are you asking me out? THROUGH YOUR MOM?"

"FUCK NO."

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME-" I stood up from my seat, putting as much distance as possible between us.

"I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT WE SHOULD PRETEND TO BE A THING AND BREAK IT OFF ONCE SHE'S SATISFIED."

WHAT

"WERE WE NOT ALREADY DOING THAT?"

"Well we were but I told her," Levi calmed down.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT," I didn't.

"I'm not going to lie to my fucking mother."

"You just suggested that we both lie to your 'fucking mother.'"

"Don't call her that."

"Alright," I sighed loudly, "just how do you propose we convince your mother? It was easy enough getting random people to believe it because we didn't have a close relationship with them, but she's your mother."

i don't feel comfortable lying to her-

"What, do you suddenly have a sense of morality?"

"I just don't want to lie to your mother- I already feel bad enough that I'm not her son."

i feel weirdly guilty the more i get to know what people around levi think of him

"Are you worried?"

"Don't make it sound like a bad thing," I grumbled, "I'm trying to be considerate of the people around me."

"Really? I didn't notice."

"Oh shut up."

"Farlan and Isabel would be in on it- it wouldn't be difficult."

isabel?

"Why is that name familiar," I frowned, biting my lip in concentration.

"I thought you knew everything about me."

"All the important things- and I'm not in the business of harassing other women because of a man, regardless of the reason."

believe it or not there are a few things more important that harassing levi ackerman

"She's-"

"THE HALF SISTER," information came flooding back to me. "Farlan's half sister, the two of them used to follow you around to every gathering you attended." I paused, "although I'm not exactly sure why you stopped dragging her along."

"Why do you know all of this, it's creepy as shit," Levi backed away from me. "You're disturbing."

"You're the one who insulted me in front of a crowd of people by comparing me to your aide and his sister," I scoffed in reply.

of course i would remember

"We were eight."

YOU REMEMBER TOO

"And? I was offended."

"That hardly compares to the time you filled my pockets with mud."

"We were SIX and no one was there- who cares."

"The entirety of the staff saw it when I came home."

"You're the one who chased me around with a frog until I tripped."

"No I did not."

"YES YOU DID."

"Absolutely not."

"You're awful."

"Likewise."

"Whatever, what about Isabel?" I sighed, giving up on continuing another pointless argument.

"I'm surprised you didn't run into her yesterday," Levi relaxed. "She stopped 'following me around' to train in swordsmanship."

"Do you think she'll be able to convince your mother that we're dating? I don't want to kiss you."

"I never asked if you wanted to dumbass."

"Whatever, whatever."

"And I don't want to kiss you either."

"Wooooow took you a suspiciously long time to say that."

THE LEVI IS IN LOVE WITH ME THEORY PREVAILS

PLEASE STOP IT'S KINDA GROSS

YOU'RE RIGHT

"Shut up."

that wasn't an explicit denial-

"My mother trusts Farlan and Isabel, they report things to her."

"Alright- do you think they'll just lie to her?"

"She'll know if they do."

"So then?"

"Isabel-" he looked slightly uncomfortable, "she has a tendency to get carried away, if she happens to see something between us I'm sure her imagination will run wild."

oh

"So what should we do?"

"I don't want to say it."

"It sounds to me like Levi Ackerman is suggesting that we kiss."

"Fuck you."

"I'm right."

"Yes," he hesitated, "you are."

"That's horrible."

"You're telling me."

"Is there really no other way?"

"We can punch each other after."

"Deal."

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idk if it's just me but this week has been so long (it's so far from being over...)

- aaaaaaaaami