"Surely you didn't come to start a fight," my father shot me a weary look. "We've had this conversation, I saved you."

im sorry

"It's just-" I hesitated, "I remember differently- I'm certain there was a woman there."

"If you refuse to believe me, ask one of the knights."

that's the thing

"Dad-" I slowly met his eyes, "I did."

"And?"

"Did I die?"

a beat of silence

"Who told you that?" He brushed off the comment- but the momentary silence was louder than his words. "Who lied to you?"

i can't tell you

"I'm not sure they did," I shook my head. "I believe them."

"I thought we were done having this conversation," he refused to answer, turning his head away from me, an action that took more effort than it should have.

me too

"I need to know- I need to find her."

"And then?"

so she is real

"And then everything will be as it should be- everyone will be happy."

"You won't be able to find her," he muttered, voice barely above a whisper. "Don't go looking."

"So she is real," I mused. "I did die then."

"You're here now."

"Yes, I am." I looked down at my hands, marveling at them. "That must've been hard."

to first lose my mother- then me

He didn't answer, just closed his eyes in silent agreement.

"I-"

"I won't tell you where she is," an air of finality clung to his words. "Even if I did, you won't find her unless she wants you to."

well-

"She saved me once before," I implored, "she helped you once before- who's to say she won't help us again?"

"What could you possibly need so bad that you would seek out that witch for assistance?" He spat out, a fit of coughing wracking his body.

if only i could tell you

"I promise to tell you after," I reached for his hand, squeezing it. "I'm the heir to the marquisate- she's clearly important- I should establish a relationship with her."

someone who has discovered a way to cheat death is more than important

"You will do no such thing."

"I have to."

"Y/N L/N-" his voice was raised and sharp, "you need to attend to your duties in the capital until you're ready to take over."

"You-"

"You clearly aren't ready to accept your position if this conversation is evidence of your maturity." He took a deep pained breath, "you need more time."

i feel sick

"I don't have time."

"You have plenty of time- wait."

i have anything but time

"Neither of us have the time-"

"Is that what this is about?" He laughed coldly. "Are you trying to save me?"

"You-"

"I do not want my daughter chasing after crazed women in the forest- I have made peace with my future- now it's your turn."

this is not how this was supposed to go

how can i do this?

how could i make him hate me when he's like this?

"It's the only thing I can do," I whispered.

there is no future for the marquisate if levi and i don't switch back

there is no future for us if levi and i don't switch back

i will never get to be your daughter again if levi and i don't switch back

i need to find her

i can't tell you any of that

"You can go back to the capital, I will send one of the knights to escort you this time."

"And what? Put me under surveillance?" I scoffed, "father- dad- you know me- the knights have never stopped me from getting what I want."

"That's exactly why you need more time," he shook his head.

that's the one thing neither of us has

"You-" I glanced down at the pocket watch- 5 minutes remaining. "It will kill me if I don't at least try."

im putting all my hopes on hanji

she saved me once before

she can save me again

she could even save you

levi was right- i have options

"You won't find her."

"Have you tried?"

"She has not appeared since I took you to her, she will not appear now, that is what we agreed on."

they made a deal?

"Then I'll come back and you can laugh at me."

"Who raised you to be so foolish?" He smiled for the first time since I had brought Hanji up.

"You did."

"Did I?"

"I think growing up around the knights may have made me a bit of a spoiled princess," I hummed.

"I shouldn't have let them dote on you, I shouldn't have spoiled you."

"You don't really regret it."

"Of course not, come here." He gestured for me to come sit on the bed.

he's tired

"You won't be able to take any of the knights, she won't appear if she sees them."

ok

"I have Levi."

"Do you trust him?"

"I do."

"Alright, take him."

"Do I need to bring anything for her?"

"Have the maids pack tea and cookies."

cute

"She doesn't seem evil."

"You will have to decide that for yourself," he sighed, "nothing I tell you will change your mind."

that's true

"When I come back I'll tell you all about what I think."

"I'll look forward to it," he paused, "there's a large tree one and a half days journey northward, you'll find her there if she wants you to."

"I'll find her," I steeled myself, "and when I do I'll fix everything."

"Nothing needs to be fixed, I wish you would realize that," he reached towards me, brushing a hair out of my face. "I would rather you didn't go."

"I have to."

"You think you do."

"I know I do."

"I'd like to meet the young lord when you come back," he quickly changed the topic, I glanced at my watch- two minutes remaining.

"Levi? Why?"

"You trust him."

"That doesn't mean he's pleasant to be around- rather the opposite-"

"I would like to meet him."

"Alright-" I shook my head, "we can do that when I come back."

one minute

"I need to rest now," he sighed, closing his eyes.

ok

"I'll be back in a week- I'll tell you all about my adventure."

"I'm sure you will."

"I-" I hesitated at the door, "I love you dad."

"Love you too."

"Sleep well," the door shut behind me with an echoing click.

im exhausted

"How di-" before Levi could finish his question the painful sound of wave after wave of wheezing coughs rang out from the other side of the door.

"I need to-" I turned on my heel- getting ready to open the door.

"You can't-" Levi grabbed me, pulling me back, "it's over- you're me."

"But he-"

"You can't."

A maid rushed past the two of us, racing into the room. Through the crack of the door I made eye contact with my father, his expression softened as he caught sight of me in Levi's body before the door shut and the coughing resumed.

i can't wait to introduce them for real

"Let's go," Levi urged.

"Lead the way."

________________________

yahoo!! what could possibly go wrong now <3 levi has father dearest's seal of approval (kinda)

- ami