Jae Yeol's head hurt. His mind rushed with thoughts and pains, engulfing his entire conscious. From the outside, he appeared to be spaced out, lost in his own thoughts, but on the inside he was reliving a moment he'd experienced in his youth -- when he was naive, not scared of the world he would soon know to be vicious.

Honey, his mother whispered, her voice lingering in his ears. Why are you crying? Is something wrong?

Jae Yeol shook his head, his fingers gripping his knees, chest heaving silently. No, no, everything is fine. Everything is okay. Please, don't worry about me. Please.

His eyes fluttered closed, and he could see her silhouette in the faint light at the end of the hallway. He looked down at his hands, but only darkness appeared in front of him. He glanced back up, but the outline of his mother, and the light, were both gone.

Where did Mommy go? He saw his brother, his father, smile and look at each other. At such a young age, Jae Yeol was still able to comprehend that their smiles were not real ones.

She's going to be on a business trip for a long, long time. Maybe even when you're a big kid, you may not see her. But that's okay, because she misses you a lot, Jae. She loves you. Jae Yeol nodded, looking up, his father's face looming down, still forcibly smiling at him. He was scared. Not for his mother, but at the fact that he was so small.

He felt so vulnerable.

And so sad.

"Jae!" The blonde snapped back into reality, gasping a tiny bit. (Y/N) stood behind them, a pair of gloves around their hands, holding a big, red pot.

"Sorry if I startled you," they laughed sheepishly, grinning. "But the food is ready, and I don't want it to get cold." He nodded, quickly getting up from his position on the couch, and heading to sit at the small table his classmate owned.

"It's not much, but..." (Y/N) lifted the lid of the pot and wonderful aromatic steam rose out, filling the air with the smell of savory broth and crackling salts.

"I made a hot pot with the ingredients I had left," they admitted, scratching the nape of their neck in an awkward manner. "But I think it smells pretty good." Jae Yeol could only look at the dish. If he responded, he thought he would cry. The two sat in silence as he held back tears.

I don't like fish cake! the small child exclaimed, putting the slab of meat back onto his mother's plate. She clicked her tongue and sighed, using her chopsticks to bring it back to her son's plate.

Well you have to learn to like it, she retorted, flicking her wrist in his direction. The hot pot won't finish itself.

Ugh... fine. Jae Yeol angrily took a bite of his rice and shoved some fish into his mouth, chewing pettily.This is okay, I guess.

The woman across from him laughed and messed up his hair, her fingers ruffling his black locks.

Glad you like it, son.

Now, Jae Yeol sat, arms slack, staring at the dish as it bubbled, familiar foods floating inside the soup. He bit his bottom lip and swallowed his saliva, eyebrows furrowed in a heavy struggle to not cry. He felt like his heart had been sunk in the ocean, then fished back up again.

"Do you like hotpot?" (Y/N) asked, taking some glass noodles from the pot. He nodded slowly, shaking hands reaching for his chopsticks. (Y/N) watched him put a little bit of cabbage onto his place, mixing it with the rice.

"Come on, that's not enough! Here, let me help." They picked up a fish ball, waited for it to cook, and placed it on Jae Yeol's place, smiling. "Protein's good for you. You do martial arts, right? So eat up. Get energy."

She left because of you. Because you were too ungrateful to appreciate her.

You never appreciated her enough, you never appreciated anything enough.

You think everything is going to be handed to you on a silver platter?

She fed you, she loved you, and she cared. You think anyone else did?

He looked at them, bewildered. Why were they doing this? His face didn't move as he felt hot tears streaming down his cheeks, dripping down his chin.

(Y/N)'s expression showed one of alarm as they dashed to get tissues and started to freak out.

"Jae! Oh my God, are you okay? I'm sorry, do you not like fish? Oh God, this was supposed to be a good dinner too! What was I thinking, I'm sorry. You probably don't even like hot pot. God, I'm so stupid, I didn't even ask you what you wanted to eat-" The blonde was quick to act. Before (Y/N) could overreact too much, his arms enveloped them in a hug.

"Oh!" (Y/N) gasped at the suddenness of the gesture, confusedly reaching to hug him back. "Do you- Do you actually like the hotpot?" They felt him nod, his grip getting tighter. As soon as he responded, (Y/N)'s muscles went slack and they melted into his embrace, fully returning the hug with as much compassion as Jae Yeol had given them.

"I'm glad you like it this much," they giggled, finally separating. "I mean, you're always welcome to my house, if you'd like. I can make it another time for y-" They stopped, eyes blank as they spaced out, words suddenly ripped out of their throat.

Jae's lips were on their cheek, the patch of skin heating up under the touch of the blonde. They stayed like that for a few more seconds until Jae Yeol leaned back, his lips separating from their cheek with a light smack. (Y/N) stared at him, still processing what had just happened. A blush had already spread across their face, covering the space underneath their eyes, and the skin spread across the bridge of their nose.

(Y/N) started to smile, and that smile turned to an utter and complete smitten laugh, hands covering their face. Jae Yeol grinned along with them, taking one of their hands and clasping it. He looked at them in a different light now, realizing that not only had they been there for him, but they loved him, and were just too shy to let him know.

"God-" (Y/N)'s hand wriggled free of his grasp, cupping his cheek, brushing any leftover, stray tears away with their thumb. "Jae Yeol, you just-" He gave a silent laugh, taking their other hand and putting it on his other cheek, then placing his on top of theirs, lacing his fingers through (Y/N)'s.

He kissed their palms, a warm feeling arising in his chest, and a happy tingling sensation wherever their skin laid against his. (Y/N) laughed and leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose, their forehead now gently knocked against his.

"God, you're so confusing sometimes," they murmured, eyes closed. "One minute you're crying, the next minute you kiss me. What do you want?" Jae simply smiled and took his hand, placing it under his partner's chin.

He tilted his head, as if to ask "May I?" He waited for approval, his warm breaths gently hitting (Y/N)'s skin, causing them to shiver. They slowly nodded, not a single second of hesitation.

His lips gingerly pressed against theirs as his hands reached to cradle his partner's head, lifting them up to stand, their two bodies intertwined. Jae Yeol slowly started to back (Y/N) up against the wall, the two moving together, almost as a whole.

Their lips moved in sync as (Y/N)'s back gently bumped against the wall. The pair didn't move any further, but continued with their kiss. Jae's arms started to come around their body, one circling their waist, his left hand rested on their hip, and one halfway around their torso, his hand and forearm sandwiched between the wall and the middle of their back.

As they finally parted, (Y/N) looked at the locks of hair covering his eyes longingly, half-lidded eyes creasing with a big smile.

"You're amazing."

With those words, Jae Yeol felt like he could melt on the floor. The comment was short, yet so sincere at the same time. The negative thoughts about his past all faded, all the belittling, all the feelings of loneliness, all the nights when he couldn't get any sleep.

He felt as if finally, finally, there was somebody there for him, someone that truly cared. Every conversation, every meal with them, and every interaction he felt like he took for granted.

Son, when you grow up, you're going to find someone who loves you like I do. You're going to find a special person that will care for you unconditionally, and have the same compassion for you as I do. I hope that someday, you will realize how much I love you, and finally be able to realize that there is someone who does too.

Damn, he really did.