t/w: homophobic slur. if you choose to skip this chapter, message me and i can give you a clean summary, look after yourselves 🤍

***

As the term wore slowly on into early Spring, Draco found himself reflecting more and more on the past.

The idea of him becoming a father was somewhat terrifying, bearing in mind his only example of the role came from Lucius Malfoy, whose abuse was the reason Draco had grown so good at Occlumency.

He'd had to learn to protect his thoughts from early adolescence, particularly those relating to his sexuality, because his father appeared to enjoy nothing more than forcibly entering Draco's mind and using the contents of it to torture him.

"I... will.... not... have... a... perverted.... son!" Draco remembered Lucius saying calmly, in between lashings of his belt against Draco's body. "You are a fucking faggot, Draco, and I won't stand for it. You are an embarrassment to this family."

That was one of the scariest things about Draco's father - he never shouted, not ever. He was always icily calm and it terrified his son.

How the fuck could he raise a baby with Lucius as his only role model?

The continuing letters from his parents were also a source of increasing anxiety for Draco.

At Christmas, they'd sent him a heavy book on Dark Magic which Draco was pretty sure was banned in Wizarding libraries, and a strongly-worded letter about how they hoped he'd find the book useful, and would choose the path that would honour his family.

He hadn't written back to thank them.

The latest letter, dated three days ago on the 2nd of March, was from his mother, and the tone of it was even more desperate than her usual standard.

Lucius was evidently making her life difficult at the Manor; she was even considering leaving him, which would be a huge step bearing in mind it would leave her with no money and a ruined reputation.

Please, Draco, she'd written. I am begging you. Save me from your father's temper, you know best of all how he can be, and he's getting worse recently. Appease him, take the Mark, and we will be safe with him. I can't go on living like this. He is going to really hurt me.

Draco couldn't stop thinking about that last line; it chilled his blood to ice in his veins.

He'd never been incredibly close to his mother - her lack of a spine had caused a lot of resentment since childhood, when she'd simply watched him being tortured by her husband, hardly raising a finger to stop him.

But he was beginning to realise that maybe she was just as trapped as he was. His parents had married when Narcissa was only nineteen, perhaps she didn't know what she was getting herself into.

And in fairness, what power did she have against Lucius? He surpassed her in every possible way; physical strength, wand skill, societal power, and even financially since he'd taken full control of Narcissa's own family trust fund when they'd married. She was helpless, and relying on Draco to save her.

It was literally written in her letter, she couldn't have been any clearer. Save me, Draco. He's going to really hurt me. I'm begging you. Save me.

You didn't save me, Mother, he thought. What about me? You're trying to ruin my life at fifteen by marking my body forever, and turning me over to the Dark Lord like a piece of meat.

But it still tore him apart to think of his mother in pain, and Draco struggled to work out which was a more terrible thought - that, or taking the Mark.

It felt like time was running out for him now. His parents were powerful, and he knew eventually he'd have to submit to them as he always had.

What an awful time to complicate your life with a child. What an awful family to bring a baby into.

Just as Draco was dwelling on this, Harry came whistling into the Slytherin Common Room, sweaty and glistening from the Gryffindor Quidditch practice.

"Hey, baby Daddy," he grinned, and Draco tensed at the reminder.

Harry noticed, and his face softened. "What's wrong, darling? Are you thinking about your parents again?"

"I'm getting really worried," Draco nodded. "This is just awful timing, I don't think I'm ready to be a dad, and I don't want the baby to be hurt by being associated with my family. My parents are dangerous, I just think it's a really irresponsible thing we're doing right now."

The smile had now completely fallen from Harry's face, and was replaced by dismayed confusion.

"No, it'll be great, Dee," he promised. "You're just getting cold feet. Haven't we always wanted this? We just have to get through this till next year when we're 17, then we'll be of age and we can get away-"

"Harry, it's three months till my 16th birthday this June, let alone my 17th. And the baby is due in 4 weeks, in case you'd forgotten," Draco snapped back, hating the grating anger of his own voice.

"That means we've got about 15 months of having a baby before I'm of age. I can't ignore my parents for 15 months. I'm worried my dad will kill my mum."

Harry looked at him, aghast. "I can't believe what you're saying, Draco, I thought we agreed on this."

"Did you hear what the fuck I said?!" Draco exploded, catching them both by surprised. "In my mum's recent letter, she is begging me to help her. I said I think my dad is going to murder my mother, and all you can think about is this baby?"

"Your mother is a grown woman," Harry replied quietly. "If you can't see that it is abusive for her to expect her 15 year old son to save her violent marriage by essentially giving up his soul, then that's a problem for you. You can't save her through sacrificing your life. I won't let you."

"You can't help me," Draco responded quietly.

"I think I can," Harry said, forcing Draco to look him in the eye. "But I also have a responsibility to help this baby, and I would like to do it with you more than anything else in the world."

Draco paused, forcing himself to match Harry's tone he spoke, as he had seen the fear in his boyfriend's eyes. "This is a baby we didn't even make, might I remind you, Harry? I'm just saying this is Hermione's mess and we might have bigger problems."

Hurt flashed across Harry's green eyes. "Draco, I thought you wanted this. We agreed we could do it for her. She hasn't got anyone else."

He squinted, like he was trying desperately to read the emotion on Draco's face but couldn't quite manage.

"You know Hermione's blood purity means that any adopting Wizards are prejudiced against her," Harry continued. He tried not to let his voice shake.
"We literally are her only chance now, and you know I swore an Unbreakable Oath to help her. This is my future now, and I thought it was yours too."

"I don't know what I was thinking to be honest, Harry, the entire idea is beyond ludicrous,"Draco responded. "It goes way beyond a favour for a friend. It involves real lives, this isn't a game!"

"I know that, Draco, but we agreed we were ready! We've talked about this a hundred times!"

"No, let's talk seriously about this," Draco said, angry again. "Because seriously, how are we meant to conceal a baby? And then a toddler? Babies grow, Harry, it won't be small and hideable for ever!!!"

"The Room of-"

"Yes, I knew you'd say the Room of Requirement, but admit that neither of us actually know how that works," snapped Draco. "What if it just doesn't work one day and the baby wakes everyone up in the dorms, or what if people notice we're missing all the time? Because we will be taking care of our fucking baby at 15, it's insane Harry."

"We're missing all the time anyway," Harry said wryly to lift the mood, but he could see he'd missed the mark there as Draco's brow furrowed even further.

"You're not even fucking listening to me, Harry," he snapped. "This term'll be hard enough, but have you even considered the holidays? Imagine me turning up to Malfoy Manor in the summer with my trunk, my owl and my fucking illegitimate baby in a fucking little Moses basket!"

He barely paused to draw breath. His slender hands were shaking with panic and frustration. "The Half-Blood baby I share with my gay, teenage boyfriend, who - unrelated - happens to be a mortal enemy of my father and everything he stands for!! Christ, Harry!"

He raked his hands roughly through his blonde hair, making Harry wince on his behalf at the force.

"And if that happened," Draco continued, "You could kiss goodbye to me ever having a penny of inheritance from my family. If they got the slightest inkling of any of this, then it's goodbye to you and I having a house, any money or a wizarding reputation when we finish Hogwarts!"

"I'd rather not have a reputation at all than have the kind of reputation condoned by your homophobic, death-eating, murderer father!" Harry fired back, angry now. "I find it quite a compliment that he hates me."

"Excellent, so instead you're going to take the baby to your fucking cupboard bedroom over the holidays to have its little baby skull kicked in by your deranged brute of a Muggle cousin, are you?" Draco yelled.

He was pacing now, a habit of his when he was particularly worked up.

"And then we're going to fake it through till we graduate at 18 with a 2 year old, and then we're going to leave school and live on the streets together, are we? Happy fucking families!"

"Yeah, it'd be happier than mine was," Harry retorted, his green eyes brimming with tears. "And for your information, Draco, I have inheritance too so I wouldn't need your charity anyway. God, you can be so entitled. And hurtful."

Draco was thrown for a moment by this, torn between comforting Harry and screaming at him. He opted for the former but was brushed off lightly.

"I'm going to have a shower," Harry said. His voice sounded tired and worn, but he just about managed to meet Draco's gaze. "I might see you at Hall but don't wait for me."

"Harry, don't go, I'm sorry-"

"I said, don't wait for me," Harry repeated. And he was gone.

________________________________

a/n: thank you for reading all this angst! it'll get lighter i promise 🤍

also the baby is nearly here! time for the actual point of this story hahahah wow i've taken my time ... thanks if you've stuck with it!

leave a vote and comment if you enjoyed this, i love reading what you guys write 🤍🤍🤍

~ paradisedraco