idk but i'm going to try my best at this one

i feel like drugs are an important topic for me to cover, and in no way am i implying that i do drugs, or am i implying that you, the reader have some kind of problem with abusing a drug

this issue should be heard because i think drugs are pretty bad and can cause major life changes

Superhero! Modern! AU (kinda like miraculous ladybug)

also both of you are aged up so like,,, 21+?

with a sad reader :(

also, hard language and a lot of angst yow

This song is "Garden" by Cuco and Melvv

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Chilling in the garden
Rosé in the roses

I took a long drag of my cigarette, the third one in a row that I've had tonight, and continued to look upon the city view from my balcony. My elbows were propped on top of the railing, my body leaning onto them for support. Tears streaked down my face, silently dripping onto my forearms and the cold metal underneath them.

As I puffed out, I watched the smoke blow away in the breeze, dissipating in the cool night air. It was a good night, fairly quiet with the usual onlooker walking across the streets. I massaged my head and inhaled another breath of smoke, tapping the ashes onto a little tray I'd installed. Puffing out again, I noticed a familiar figure on their night patrol, but I couldn't care less.

My head was so fogged up with thought, and my vision was so blurry from the tears I didn't notice the figure hop up to my railing.

"Hey." He greeted me, but I just ignored him, continuing to cry and smoke, hoping that it would erase all my worries and negative emotions. I stood and he sat looking at me for a few minutes until I'd finished up my third cigarette and threw it in the ash tray.

I dug into my pocket and pulled out the box, digging up another stick and my lighter. My fingers shook as I popped the cigarette into my mouth. Before I could light the it, the hero spoke.

"I don't think you shoulder be doing that," he commented. I turned to him, eyes half-lidded.

"Yeah? Why the fuck not? You sound like my fucking mom. Piss off." My words seemed like bullets to him, as he didn't say anything back. I smirked and rolled my eyes, flicking the lighter to produce a flame. I held it close and lit the cigarette. With a heave, I breathed in, my nerves calming down and my heart rate going back to normal.

Summer said it started
Tatted me up now I'm golden

I finally turned to him, blowing out smoke.

"So why're you even here?" It wasn't like a question, more of a demand. "I got business to do, dumb cat. Why don't you run back into the alley?" Looking away, I placed the palm of my hand against my forehead and felt more tears brewing in my eyes.

As they slid down my cheeks, I could see out of the corner of my eye the superhero's face morphing into one of pity, a need to help. It lit a fuse inside me. A couple moments passed before I exploded, my conscience not caring about who was listening, or what I was saying.

"You heroes always think you can fucking save the day and be done with everything, but you can't save anything, in reality," I spat, more and more tears coming to flow down my face. "You think you're so mighty, with your dinky superpowers, but really, you're just a bunch of cowards that hide behind a fucking mask and-" I quivered, faltering, snapping back into reality. My voice just disappeared as I felt agony rake through my whole body.

I buried my head into my arms and sobbed, the cigarette falling from my mouth and onto the floor, which I stomped out.

"Fuck," I sobbed, body heaving. "This is fucking bullshit." The masked figure who'd been by my side finally started to approach me, hand extended out.

"Don't fucking touch me." My voice grew louder near the end to emphasize my feelings as I cried some more, the person on my left frozen in mostly shock, but with some concern as well. I heard him draw in a breath of fresh air.

"I can tell you're distressed, and I..." He paused, a moment of silence passing by. "For once, I don't know what to do. But I know for a fact that you don't have to go through this alone." I scoffed and wheeled to turn to him, fists clenched.

"What do you know? Your life has been perfect while mine was destined to rot. I am some kind of monster and you're viewed as an amazing hero that always saves the day. You don't know half of the story, and before you can try and give me something to chew on, I suggest you fuck off and leave me the fuck alone, bitch." I huffed, my heartbeat getting more erratic. I clutched my head and tried to calm down.

The masked hero hesitated, eyes still glued onto my figure.

"You don't know everyone's story," he murmured, rubbing his arm with a hand. "Maybe the lives of others aren't so perfect-"

"If they're are just 'bad,' mine's just a fucking trainwreck, buddy!" I screamed, slamming my hands against the metal railing, the material ringing with a bang as the force spread through the bars, stopping as I quieted the vibrations. Suddenly, my mind started to work rapidly as I remembered Callum, and his story. My anger dissolved, leaving me with an empty feeling and a blank stare, eyes drooping.

"I-I... I just need some alone time, okay?" I stammered on my words as the silent hero just nodded and left. He left without a word, hopping off my balcony and into the night. I could feel another wave of sadness crash into me and I collapsed on my knees, heaving breaths, lungs shuttering with every single cry I let out, piercing the air like a knife. Alone again.

I imagine tomorrow wasn't going to be better.

__

Hearing a knock on the door, I turned off my stereo and rubbed my tired, red, puffy eyes. Peering through the peephole to see who it is, I opened the door.

"What do you want, Callum?" He scratched his head awkwardly, eyes averted.

"I just came to see you. You know, check up and stuff." I smiled, letting him in.

"Thanks," I managed to croak out. "Sorry about my voice, not feeling the best today. Think I'm a little sick." The brunette bit his lip, eyebrows furrowing.

"Sorry to hear that." It sounded forced. Maybe he knew I was lying. But I did look sick. I didn't even bother to comb my hair, and I was still in my clothes from yesterday after I passed out at 4 am on my couch, tired after 5 hours of just straight crying.

"So..." he started, looking at my face while I sat down. "Is everything alright?" I nodded my head, grinned, and looked at him.

"Why do you ask? Everything is fine, Callum." He huffed and looked at me dead in the eye. I maintained the eye contact with a glare until he blinked, looking at his hands folded up in his lap.

"I never knew you smoked, (Y/N)." He said it in a meek voice, almost like he was hurt by it. I was surprised he knew it, and even more surprised that I felt guilty, somehow.

"What of it?" Callum hesitated, like he was afraid something was going to pop out if he responded.

"(Y/N), I just thought- I just thought that we were best friends, that we'd never lie to each other, that we'd always tell each other everything..." He trailed off, fidgeting with his hands. My heart sank to see him this way.

"Callum-"

We accept the love we think that we deserve

"And why didn't you tell me about your own problems?" He got angrier. "How you're suffering with all this unbearable sadness, how you hate yourself, how you smoke because it helps alleviate stuff, how you just miss everything, and how you just want to be alone? (Y/N), why don't you tell me all of this?" I started to shake, becoming more and more unstable with every word that came out of his mouth.

"Because I felt like I needed to be there for you!" I shouted, slamming a fist on the couch's arm rest. "Because I felt like having a dead mother and an adoptive father would be hard enough! Because I care for you, Callum! I thought if I keep this to myself, then you wouldn't have to go through the stupid fucking process of trying to fix me! Because I felt that if you were okay, I was okay! You're the only person I know that likes me and willingly talks to me! Hell, I wouldn't even like myself, and I don't! Even right now! Shit!"

I felt the familiar feeling of tears falling down my cheeks once more as Callum just stared.

"I didn't know you felt that way..."

"Yeah, I know," I replied miserably, wiping the tears away with the back of my hand. "I know, Callum, I know." I took a breath in, sniffing air through my nose, then exhaled through my mouth.

"Look, I just don't know what's wrong with me right now, but I'm not at my best, if you can tell," I laughed, trying to make a joke, but Callum's face remained one of stone. He responded after I went quiet.

"(Y/N). I also really care for you, okay? But, when you're like this... I just don't know what to do."

"You sound like a certain mangy alley cat I know," I chuckled, wiping away the tear residue near my eyes. Sighing, I bundled up my legs and hugged them to my chest.

"Sometimes I just don't know what I'm doing."

Don't be surprised when people wanna keep the world
Walls are painted up with flowers, see the perks

The brunette gave me a small smile and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me into his warm embrace. I shivered, my body adjusting to the newer surrounding temperature.

"Sometimes I don't know either." I sighed, my muscles relaxing, melting into the warm atmosphere. My eyes closed, and I remembered how tired I was. I felt his thumbs draw circles on my skin, his chin on top of my head, and neck gently vibrating as he started to hum quietly. I moved closer into him, my arms unwrapping from my legs. I latched onto one of his arms, my face buried in the crook of his neck.

I could feel his skin start to heat up as I started to fall asleep, his arms still enveloping my body with me pressed up against him, comfortable and completely open around him. I smiled when his hand reached up to cup my cheek, thumb sliding over my skin.

"I love you, Callum." My lips moved slowly as I uttered the words, making sure it was loud enough so that only he would hear it, despite us being alone. I listened to his heartbeat quicken, silently laughing. His grip around me became tighter as he brought me closer.

"I love you so much."

Trying to keep my cool, you melted all the ice cubes

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(Bonus)

I woke up, drowsy, Callum still holding me. He had fallen asleep as well, eyes closed, his face showing complete peace. His lips were pink, a little bit spread apart as gentle snores sounded from between them. I turned around, the front of my body facing his. The corners of my mouth lifted as I leaned closer to his face, not noticing that his brown eyes were slowly fluttering open.

"(Y/N)?" he muttered, now awake. "What are you doing?" I gave him small smile, hands on his shoulders, our bodies mostly touching. I let him wake up a bit more, realizing that he was still half-asleep. God, he was so cute. I couldn't resist and impulsively opened my mouth to spill what I wanted to do.

"Can I kiss you?" I whispered, my head moving closer to his ear, hands now gripping his shoulders, taut. My face flushed as I awaited his response, knowing that he would be clearly surprised.

"I mean..." he started, stopping to let out a shaky breath. "Y-Yeah, I'd like that." I moved so my eyes were interlocked with his, our faces inches apart. He averted his eyes, licking his lips nervously, taking a deep breath. My eyes creased as I grinned, hands removing themselves from his shoulders, onto his cheeks, cupping his face. He really grew into his features.

Callum looked back at me, eyes seeming to sparkle. I slowly leaned in, pressing my lips to his, closing my eyes. He relaxed after a few seconds, his hands moving to my waist as mine drifted to tangle themselves in his hair. I felt him relax as his arms encircled my torso, hands laying just on top of the small of my back, fingers barely brushing against the back of my pants.

I hummed, lips moving against his as I felt adoration coursing through me. His touch was electric. The moment felt surreal as we continued, his hands now moving to rest upon my thighs, sliding every second or so, massaging the top of my skin. His fingers gripped onto the flesh, my body heating up.

We broke apart a minute later, my hands winding up near his collarbone, his on my lower waist. My breaths were in small and quiet pants as I tried to collect what was left of my dignity.

"You weren't very shy, were you, Callum?" I giggled, my hand moving to cover his, still on my waist. He blushed, quickly removing them.

"S-Sorry, I just-" I kissed him again to make him shut up.

"Don't apologize, you butt. It was nice."

"Yeah, but-"

"No 'but's,'" I sighed, looking into his warm hazel eyes. "I just love you." He smiled, moving to clasp my hand.

"I love you too."