Chap 25

Jessica's POV

Oh my god. I can't believe I just slept with Yuri. Especially after the way she heated things up last night only to abandon me for the rest of the night. I waited and waited for her to return, to tell me that she wasn't sorry and that she had intended to kiss me, to finally love me. But she didn't.

As I watched the hours pass that night, I couldn't stop the tears from wetting the pillow. With all the hurting that I was going through, it was impossible for me to fall asleep last night. And now, it was also impossible for me to fall asleep because everytime Yuri rubbed her skin against mine, I would get butterflies in my stomach.

I opened one eye to sneak a look at Yuri. Is she really sleeping? I moved my hand slowly across her smooth stomach to hold her by the waist. Even in the shadows of the blue moon, her dark skin was shining as brightly as ever.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I recognize the sudden noise as Yuri's phone, causing her to stir in her sleep. I quickly closed my eyes and pretend to be fast asleep as she reached over on her side to grab her phone. She then slides her arm out from under me, cautiously, careful not to wake me up. I feel my head also sliding off her shoulder and onto the pillow.

Who could be messaging at this hour? Sure, I had a lot to drink tonight, but everybody should have passed out by now as well. Yuri quickly types something back to that person before getting out of bed.

I hear the bathroom door slide open and then shut again. I waited until the shower was turned on before popping up from bed to read Yuri's most recent text messaging conversation.

Already I'm starting to act like the crazy possessive girlfriend and I know I shouldn't be invading her privacy, but curiosity got the better of me.

Flipping open her phone, a never before seen picture of us sleeping together appears on the screen. How and when did she take that picture? I recognize the background and especially Yuri's cute chipmunk cheeks. Must've been when she had her wisdom teeth removed. I'm smiling widely as I quickly send this picture to my phone before going into her message inbox.

What I saw next completely erased the smile on my face. Curiosity killed the cat, me being the pathetic cat. Reading the message sent daggers to my heart.

Unnie, I need you to come back now. I need help with the you-know-what.

P.s. MISS YOU! XOXO

-your little Yoong

Like as if my fingers were already programmed to check the outbox, I read Yuri's reply in 1 second.

I'm coming. Wait for me.

P.s. Missed you too!

-Yul

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Didn't our confessions mean anything to her? What we just did, everything that she just said to me, were they just sweet nothings? I don't know if I was the one being cheated on or if Yuri had just cheated on Yoona by sleeping with me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Yuri's silhouette approaching the transparent door. Guess I was so shocked by these messages that I didn't even hear her turn off the water. Placing the phone back on the bedside table, I turn over to lie on my side in case I can't hold back the tears.

Shuffling of bags and papers can be heard in the stillness of the room. She's packing her stuff. She's getting ready to leave.

Yuri's strawberry scent became stronger as she neared the bed, crawling in to lie beside me. Just like how I moved my hand across her stomach earlier, Yuri does the same across my back, coming to a rest on my waist. She pulls me closer, cuddling me from behind, carressing my waist as she does so. The kiss that she gave me next on my bare shoulder sent flutters to my stomach.

I remained frozen in my spot, fighting back the tears that desperately needs to be released. We lie there in silence for a few more minutes before I intertwine my fingers with hers. Yuri, please don't leave me, I begged silently.

Like as if she heard me, she answered by hugging me tighter, as a way to reassure me. I was fooled though, just like I was fooled into believing what we had was real. Faster than you can say Yulsic, she released me and climbed out of bed, tiptoeing towards the door. My silent weeping turned into trembling sobs the moment I heard the door click shut.

This isn't happening again. She's going to come back tonight. She must. Like last night, I waited for her until the sun rose, until I had to checkout of the hotel. But she never did return to my side.

Jessica's POV

I didn't want to go back to the dorm but I wasn't really given a choice by manager oppa. He said my eyes were all red and puffy and how I didn't get much sleep on the plane so I should head back to the dorm to sleep for a few hours before going to the next scheduled event.

"Hello? Anybody home?" I screamed out upon entering the quiet place that the girls and I shared.

I was greeted by silence. Whatever. I need the rest so maybe it was a good thing that they were all out.

I tossed my bags aside to one corner and flopped on my bed. No matter how hard I tried to fall asleep, I just couldn't. It was impossible for me to not think about Yuri and everything that happened on Jeju Island. The look on her face and how nervous she acted when I came out of the shower in just my towel was too funny. And all the well thought out activities that she had planned to replicate amusement rides was the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me. My favorite was her version of the Merry-Go-Round and ferris wheel.

Those memories were the pleasant highlights of our stay in Jeju. Of course, there's no such things as free rides. Although what happened at night time was absolutely magical, attached were emotional battles that brought on pain and anger.

Yuri, where are you? I felt an urge to check her room in case she was sleeping in there. Might as well do something instead of tossing and turning in bed.

I knocked softly on her door and waited for a bit before turning the golden knob. Nobody was inside to answer all the questions that were going through my head.

I plopped myself down on the edge of her bed and looked around her organized room. Where does she even find the time to clean? There wasn't a single piece of scrap paper lying around. The cds on her desk were neatly categorized and even her slightly opened closet revealed piles of clean, folded clothes. Cheaters are probably the most organized people, not leaving a single trail of their cheating ways.

Oh! Wait, what's that? A whiteboard with blue writing caught my eye. S-Y-T, syt? What's that supposed to mean? So You Think... No, it can't stand for that since it obviously needs more letters to complete the acronym. Then I noticed the lines under each heading.

Ahhhh! Like a lightbulb that suddenly went off in my head, I figured out what S-Y-T was. It was a scoreboard of some sort for Sooyoung or Sunny or Seohyun, Yoona, and Tiffany. Babo Yuri, leaving incriminating evidence lying around like that in the open. It was probably some point system where she kept track of how many times she romanced them or worse yet, slept with them. But then shouldn't I be up on that board too? :(

As I laid down against Yuri's pillow, I couldn't help myself from frowning. Hugging one of her extra pillows, I inhaled the strawberry scent that she left before falling asleep.

----

Ugh... To make my day even worse, my heels snapped on the way to the studio of this talkshow, Hyoyeon spilled water all over me, Sooyoung ate all the food on the way here, and I just so happened to walk behind this slow-moving couple who were being all lovey-dovey with each other. God, I just wanted to throw stones at them!

Then, the moment the talkshow started, everybody started attacking me from the way my hair was styled to outright saying that I was considered the rudest member. I kept trying to hold Tiffany's hand for comfort, but she kept shoving me away. It was just 7 of us who were present, with Yoona and Yuri being absent. How I wished Yuri was here.

"Jaessica, how does it feel to receive the award for most cold/unapproachable?" one of the MCs asked me.

How do you think it feels moron? How about, get my name right first. "Oh... Uh... Gee I don't know what to say," I pretended to stammer.

"You must not be liked by many guys --or just plainly liked for that matter. I don't think I would like you much. My type of girl would probably be Seohyun or Yoona," he continued.

I wanted to throw my chair at him. But I would most likely miss since tears were starting to sting my eyes as I held them back.

"I'm actually not that--"

My sentence got cut short as another MC came out from behind the curtains, rolling a cake and singing happy birthday. Everybody on the set began to join in, clapping their hands together.

"--haaaaappy biiiiirthday to Jessica! Woohoo!"

Tiffany was the first to come up to hug me. "Jessi, I'm so sorry! I felt so bad watching you get attacked."

I scanned the room to see if Yuri showed up for my surprise birthday party. It wasn't a big room and so I was able to go through the crowd three times before determining that she wasn't present. As if on impulse, I immediately let all my tears spill freely.

"Aigoo, Sica, don't cry. We're sorry!" Taeyeon said to comfort me for the wrong reason.

"Taengoo..." I cried into her shoulders. Make all this pain that I'm feeling go away. "Where's Yuri?" If anybody knows, Taeyeon would.

"Oh, she's busy with Yoona. She'll come home later to celebrate."

---

All the celebrations were over, presents opened, cake eaten, and still no Yuri. I was hopeful that she would show up till the last minute before the clock struck twelve. But by now, we've all showered and retired for the night.

Midway between going into deep sleep and being conscious still, I felt a familiar weight on me and hands resting on my waist and on the side of my face. Next, I was being showered with gentle kisses before I felt her tongue slide into my mouth.

Dream or not, I wrapped my hands behind her head and pulled her closer, deepening our kiss. I kissed her passionately like the actors in the movies who just reunited with their lover --or who's going to have to part with their lover to save the world from armaggedon.

"Mmmm... Kevin," I sighed against her mouth.

She froze and pulled away almost immediately. I looked into Yuri's eyes and saw a hurt look that I knew all too well. It's better this way. I need to protect myself from being hurt again.

Jessica's POV

"Jessica..." Yuri said, confused.

I pretended to act surprise. "Oh, Yuri-ah. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you. I thought I was dreaming again, and... And... I'm just sorry, it won't happen again. I won't make the mistake of kissing you again." I wriggled my body beneath her. "And um, could you get off me? I can't breathe."

In slow motion, Yuri lifts herself off of me to sit on the bed. "Sica, are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Do you..." Her eyes shift between me and the bed. Yuri looked hesitant to ask me the rest of the question.

"Do I what? Feel embarrassed? Yeah, I do. I can't believe I kissed you. Drunk or not, I seem to always do stupid things like this," I chuckled.

I could see the creases form between her eyebrows. Giving me a puzzled look, she asks, "Do you remember what happened last night?"

Great. You just had to ask me about last night. I try my best to answer nonchalantly. "Vaguely. I remember going to a bar last night because I was slightly upset that you kissed me. Then I stripped down to sleep in the nude because my clothes felt disgusting." I faked a gasp. "Oh my, I didn't scare you away like that, did I?"

She's staring at me hard, trying to decipher my lies and probably seeing right through my horrible acting.

After awhile, Yuri snaps back into life, shaking her head and laughing nervously. "Oh no, it's fine. I wasn't even there. Sorry about just now. I had a bit to drink also and thought this was my room. Anyway, I should go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you."

"Happy birthday by the way." She walks towards the door awkwardly before stopping. Turning around, she asks, "Isn't Kevin gay?"

Crap. Why did I tell her that. "No."

"Uh huh..." She nods her head, absorbing my direct answer. "And you like this Kevin Yang?"

"Might as well tell you now, yes." Oh no, she knows about the scripts. "Since a very very long time ago," I add.

"Ok then. Goodnight." She left, finally closing the door behind her.

I let the breath of air that I was holding escape my mouth. A good night was not what I had. I kept rolling around in bed, thinking that everything's over between us. Somehow, tonight seemed especially cold and lonely.

----

From that night, we started to grow apart. It's almost like whatever bond or closeness we've formed over the past months just disappeared, like it never existed.

I became attached to Tiffany once more, but I could tell that Taeyeon wasn't too happy about that. So then I started to hog Seohyun but even she kept running off to be with Yoona. It seems that I'm always losing to her, Yoona.

So here I am, all alone in my room on a Saturday night. Who needs them anyway. I have my two loves right here, right now: my books and sleep. Reaching over to the bedside table for my latest read, I notice a black portfolio. My black portfolio. Somebody's been going through my things again. I'm about to go into the living room to lecture them about privacy but then I remembered that Yuri was out there with them. Like a cat, I shy away back onto my bed and start flipping through the book.

Wow! I've transformed quite a bit over time. In the first few pictures, I was posing like a cute school girl. Hah! I can't believe I thought waving that lollipop around with my Sailormoon hairdo was cool.

Flipping the page, there's more mature pictures of me, elegant and seductive in nature. By now, I've almost completely forgotten about the girls snooping around in my room and became so absorbed in my portfolio of pictures.

Ew! What is this photo of me with one hand behind my head, the other one on my waist, and my tongue sticking out? Why haven't I burnt this already? Oh right! To remind me to never ever pose like this again. Ugh, I shudder at this unattractive sight before browsing through the rest of the portfolio.

I've reached the last page and it's the photo of me and Yuri in the Elle magazine. Not wanting to have to think about the person who broke my heart, I started to close the book until something caught my eye. Scribbled in one corner was a little message that I've never seen before nor was it I who wrote it.

No matter what happens or what choices you make, know that I'll always love and support you.

-Your Kwon Seobang

Tears immediately rush to my eyes. Why Yuri? If you loved me, then there shouldn't be others. I feel myself weakening, almost giving in to be with her. I slam the book shut. But I can't and don't want to be played again. You'll always love and support me no matter what I do eh? We'll see about that.

I step out of my room and into the living room where Yuri, Yoona, Taeyeon, and Hyoyeon were watching a movie in the dark.

"Hey guys, do you mind if I join you?" I ask them.

"Huh?"

"Yeah.."

"Sure, sure..."

"Mmmm..."

They all seemed really into the movie to even know who was talking, let alone who was blocking their view.

I lifted the blanket up and sandwiched myself right in between Yoona and Yuri, causing them to pull away from each other to make space for me. Shifting around on the big couch, I finally found a comfortable position and focused on what was happening on the screen.

A blond haired girl is in this cabin in the middle of a forest. She discovers this black videotape and is about to play it in one of those ancient VCRs.

I've never seen this movie before. "Yuri ah, what movie is this?" I whispered in her ear as I snuggle closer.

She turns her head to look at me, our faces being only inches apart. She tilts her head to the side and leans in to whisper back. "Oh Sica, I didn't know you liked these kind of movies..."

These kind of movies? What kind is she talking about? I'm staring back at the screen trying to figure out what this movie is about. It seems like the tape is pretty significant. They keep zooming in on it and playing this eerie music in the background. It sure doesn't look like a comedy to me.

Without peeling my eyes off the TV, I lean over to ask her, "What kind of movie is it? Drama?"

She doesn't answer me immediately. Instead, she loops her arm around mine and I feel my heartbeat quicken. She's still staring intently at the character on the screen, following the blond girl's each and every action.

"Horror," she whispers back.

My eyes shoot wide open and before I could jump up, both girls beside me clutch onto my arm tightly and begin to scream. Hearing them scream, I screamed too... Which then turned to wailing.

"Eeeyaaah! Yuri, I don't want to watch this!"

"Shhh! The good part's coming up," an excited Hyoyeon says to me.

"This part always freaks me out no matter how many times I've seen it," Taeyeon tells us.

The video is being played again. I don't know what's happening or what's going to happen, but judging from what Hyoyeon and Taeyeon just said, I just know that something scary is coming up. Oh my god, oh my god! I can't watch this. Before I can even bring the blankets up to hide, a scary girl is walking towards the man on the phone. Then in a split second she's right in front of the screen.

We're all shrieking, but mine was the loudest and longest. I'm hiding behind Yuri and crying against her back as she just laughs at me.

"Yaaah, it's not funny!" I whine. "Stop laughing!"

"Haha! Ok, ok. Let's just watch the rest." She slides her hand out of my deadlock grip and wraps her arm around my shoulders, holding me close.

I can't watch this anymore, I really can't. After the last scene, I'm terrified beyond imagination. Public speaking or even dancing in front of a huge audience cannot compare. Unfortunately, I was too scared to run back into my room.

I shake one of Yuri's arms and look up at her. "I can't watch this."

"Hmmm? Ok, go back to your room then." She's still staring at the TV as she withdraws her arms.

"Yuri, could you--"

"Sica, shhhhh! I can't hear!" Hyoyeon shushed me again.

"You don't even understand English!"

"Sica, I see their mouths moving, but I'm hearing your voice and you're totally killing the mood here."

I cup my hands around Yuri's ear and ask her as quietly as I could, "Yuri ah, could you walk me to my room?"

Although I couldn't hear her heartbeat, I felt her ear that I just whispered into turn super hot.

"Just wait a bit and Hyo will go back with you."

"I can't watch this anymore. I'll have nightmares. Please?" I move my lips softly against her earlobe and blew out insonspicuous breaths of air into her ear as I pleaded.

"Alright, let's go." She springs up off the couch and grabs my hand, towing me along until we reached my room. "Here you are. Goodnight now."

Yuri spins around to leave, but acting on impulse, I stop her by the arm. "You can't leave me alone! Not after that scary scene."

"Can't you just like..." She shrugs her shoulders. "...I dunno, like, sleep with the lights on or something?" She flicks the light switch to turn on the lights in my room.

Suddenly, a door slammed shut, causing me to scream and jump into Yuri's arms.

"Sorry! I heard a lot of screaming and decided to check out what was going on out here. Is everything and everyone okay?" Sunny asked.

Yuri looked down at me as I trembled in her arms. "Okay, point proven." Turning to speak to Sunny, she informs her, "Hey, Sunny! I won't be sleeping in our room tonight." With that, she led me into my room, closing the door shut behind her.

It wasn't much use though because even with the door closed, I could still hear the scary music from my bed.

"Yuri? Where are you?" I asked from underneath the covers.

"Hah! I'm right here, beside you. Could you come out? It's getting really hot with you breathing under there."

I slowly slide the blanket down and shuffle my body closer to Yuri, quickly closing the gap between us. Given the circumstances, I'm not fully enjoying Yuri's presence, but just to test her reaction, I rub my leg against hers. I hear her suck in her breath, then she presses her cheek against my head. Well, I could tell that she's clearly enjoying mine.

---