I want to kill my father, so much that even if i may have to be in hell for it I would still feel grateful. Everyday i always wish something bad will happen to him that he could never repay. I hate myself that i am so scared of him, every-time he raise his voice or tries to assault me I would just froze. I try so hard to fight back that but i can not fight him, i mentally cant. I want to take a knife and slit it through his throat. I would watch his neck bleeds out till the very last drop and the euphoric just gonna flow through me so magically. His death will be my only blessing. So many time i think i tried to make a peace or maybe just let him think that he could live nicely while he is stronger than me, I thought I would wait for him to get older, so old that he couldn't even lift a finger to fight me, then I would show him what cruelty is, how much worse i can give it to him, what he did to me, i will payback a trillion times more to him. But i think i have to change my plan. Maybe any knife i have at home is way more affective than old ages with cruelty. His blood may run through me but I would prefer it to run all out through my cut on his throat