jungkook's pov
(not an entry)

"jungkook, you there?" i shot my head up as i heard my best friend's voice. we were at the pizzeria next to our school. we always hang out here every friday after the last period.

"ah, yes..." trying to show a smile, i said to him, but he knew me so well and immediately figured out i was faking it.

"you've been spacing out for minutes now. dude, you gotta let it go."

upon hearing this, a frown crept up on my face.

"jimin doesn't even deserve you," hoseok, who sat next to me, added.

"you guys just don't understand," i let out a bitter chuckle.

"yeah, we do. you don't think we've already fallen in love with someone before?" hoseok insisted and taehyung nodded.

"i mean, we all know tae's in love with yoongi, but okay, how about me? you think i don't know about love?" taehyung lightly hit hoseok on the shoulder which caused him to laugh like the idiot he is.

"on a serious note, what this little shit's saying is that we understand how you feel for jimin, but you gotta think about yourself sometimes," taehyung finished.

"can we just not talk about jimin anymore? thanks?" the two of them looked at me in surprise and i immediately mumbled an apology. my tone wasn't the slightest respectful at all.

"i'm just tired, guys." i sighed and put both my arms on the table with my head down. "i'll just go to sleep," i added, which came out as muffled because of my arms covering my face.

"why don't you try talking to that fan of yours?" hoseok suggested and i immediately knew who he was talking about, but refused to acknowledge it.

"you mean hazy?" taehyung asked, curiosity and confusion ripe like venom on his tongue.

"yeah, whatever that guy's name is." i could only imagine hoseok shrugging while continuing to eat as if what he's saying isn't annoying at all. well, i haven't told anyone about what that little shit did to me yet.

"why?" oh, no. "is there something you're not telling me, jungkook?" i kept silent, still not wanting to talk about hazy nor jimin.

"what do you mean, tae?" hoseok asked this time.

"no. what do you mean?"

"you're not making any sense right now."

"is jungkook flirting with his reader?"

"nah, it's the other way around," hoseok chuckled. "i'm surprised you don't know this. you really must be the captain of the jikook ship if you don't care about the other guys that like your best friend."

that was fucking it. i've had enough of hearing them talk about him.

"he doesn't fucking like me!" i shot my head up and everyone else in the pizzeria looked at me in both confusion and fright.

"he hates me, okay?! he even wants me to die, for fuck's sake! i don't even know what i did to him but he hates me and i don't care anymore!" i scoffed. "who'd care about him anyway?"

"but i thoughtㅡ" hoseok started but i cut him off.

"well, you thought wrong! too bad not everything goes the way we want it to! too bad everyone fucking lies and at the end of the day, no one's ever who anyone thinks they are!"

and with that, i left. guilt washed over me like blood flowing in my veins. but there was no turning back. no one can ever change the past.