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Mark ran into the corridor and reached the balcony where Johnny was smoking. "I'm glad you came. I could hear you moving in your room and for a while I thought you were getting ready to go to bed, had changed your mind." Johnny looked out into the view as he took a drag on his cigarette. "Change my mind? Of course I'm coming." Mark stepped closer to the ledge to be closer to Johnny but there was still a slight distance between the two.

"So you do smoke?"

"Sometimes." There was a long silence as Mark bit his lip and played with his fingers, he then decided to put his hand on the balcony. "I'm nervous." Mark admitted, not knowing what else to say.

"Me too."

"I'm more so." Johnny silently put his hand on top of Mark's smaller hand after a long moment of silence, he let it just rest there. Johnny looked at their hands and intertwined them, it was a perfect fit. Mark realised that Johnny also used touch to express his feelings and Johnny's hand on his own spoke of words of desire and absolute acceptance. It said that Johnny wanted him just as much as Mark wanted him and that he wanted him to stay right where he was.

He looked up at the older who let out a smile as he walked Mark towards his bed. Johnny sat on the bed cross-legged, it made him look smaller and younger. Mark stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed. He didn't know what to do with his hands, he kept putting in his pockets then taking them out again. "Come, sit." Johnny patted the spot on the bed next to him before placing the full ashtray onto the floor.

Hesitating, Mark crawled onto the bed and sat facing Johnny, cross-legged just like him.  He made sure that their knees didn't touch. Needing to suddenly shed his shyness and inhibitions, Mark decided to lean against something, he slid up to the top of the bed and rested his back against the headboard beside Johnny. Mark looked down at the bed and at the two of them side by side on it, this was a moment that he has dreamt of.

Now that it was happening, he could hardly believe it. As if to highlight that moment, Johnny stretched his legs out, his bare feet next to Mark's own.

"You okay?"

"Me okay." Mark internally cringed at his panicked response, Mark closed his eyes in embarrassment before opening them and staring at Johnny's feet. Mark didn't want to talk because words constantly failed him so he let his body do the talking. With his toes, Mark reached over to Johnny's toes and touched them. He slipped his big toe in between Johnny's big toe and his second toe.

Johnny didn't respond. Since he was sitting on Johnny's left he figured that these were not the toes that touched him at lunch the other day. It was his right foot that was guilty so Mark tried to reach it with his own right foot in a kind of desperately playful mood. "What are you doing?" Johnny asked as he looked the boy's foot. "Nothing." Somewhat absentmindedly, awkwardly and without conviction, Johnny reciprocated the movement, seeking out Mark's other foot.

Mark moved closer to Johnny then hugged him, it was a kind of child's hug. "That's a start." Johnny responded to the hug half-humorously. Mark shrugged, not wanting to speak. "Does this make you happy? You're not going to have a nosebleed are you?" It did make Mark happy. He nodded a yes then a no.

Finally, Johnny brought his arm around Mark. He didn't stroke him or hold him tight, it just rested around his body, the physical language that they had been developing together found its full voice right at this moment. Mark loosened his own hold for a moment and moved his arms to under Johnny's loose shirt, seeking skin and resumed his embrace.

"You sure you want this?" Mark nodded again, yes. "We haven't talked." Mark shrugged his shoulders in a "No need to" way. Johnny lifted Mark's face with both hands and stared at him the way he did on the cliff but even more intensely. Then he suddenly pulled back, as if he might laugh and ran his fingers through Mark's hair, messing it up. His gaze lowered down to Mark's lips.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes please." Mark said desperately as he brought his lips to Johnny's in a fierce and eager kiss. Something seemed to clear away between them and both abandoned themselves to the kiss. Mark hungrily kissed Johnny's closed eyes, his nose, his ears, his throat, discovering them with his lips. Johnny kissed him back just as eagerly and even roughly. Mark got under the covers eventhough there were some things lying on the bed that hadn't been removed- a book, some magazines and a pack of cigarettes.

Mark slipped his foot under them as if they weren't there and they all fell to the floor. Johnny got under the covers too and started to undress Mark. "Off.. and off.. and off, and off." Johnny whispered, smiling lovingly as he tossed the boy's clothes onto the floor. Mark was very soon naked and lied back under the sheet in a kind of ecstasy as Johnny moved his hands all over his body. Johnny pulled the sheet back.

Mark absolutely loved being naked in front of Johnny, there were no secrets. Johnny kissed him and his entire body. He took Mark's hard penis and put it briefly into his mouth. Johnny returned to kiss Mark's open lips again more deeply, as if he too was finally letting go. Johnny was also naked and not a part of him wasn't touching Mark. They stared at eachother for a bit before Mark turned away in shyness.

Johnny continued staring and Mark turned back and stared at him as they settled into a mock wrestling position. Johnny's shoulders rubbed the back of Mark's knees. Mark looked into Johnny's eyes in an intensity of love and expectation, he wanted this moment to last forever, he knew that there'd be no coming back from this.

When Johnny entered Mark, there was a degree of pain and discomfort. Mark flinched and fought the impulse to stop him, which Johnny noticed. "Are you okay?" An eternity seemed to pass between Mark's reluctance to make up his mind and Johnny's instinct to make it up to him.

They fucked.

Their bodies were entangled. Mark's face was flushed as he turned side to side, alternating obscenities with Johnny's name. Johnny's face was more implacable, his lips softly repeating what Mark said. Johnny bent forward, his breath tickling Mark's neck as he whispered: "Call me by your name and I'll call you by mine."

Johnny had a desire to blur the boundaries between them. His desire rooted from the fact that he wanted to be Mark just as much as he wanted to be with him. Mark and Johnny were eachother in that moment. Mark's body was Johnny's and Johnny's body was his. They continued their rhythm, Johnny took Mark into a realm that he had never known before, he murmured his own name as if it were Johnny's.

"Ah, Mark.. Mark... Mark..." Mark moaned out as the star of David bounced on Johnny's chest.  "Fuck.. I'm going to cum." Johnny pulled out as he rode out his high with his own hands. Mark watched the formidably discreet and formidably cool Johnny make faces and peak before his very eyes. Mark crawled forward, opening his mouth wide as he waited in anticipation for Johnny's load. Johnny came all over Mark's face and chest.

Mark smiled as he played with the cum that had entered his mouth with his tongue. He licked his lips with his cum covered tongue before pulling Johnny down and kissing him desperately. It was a shock for Mark when Johnny spread his semen out with the palm of his hand over his chest. Johnny picked up his billowy blue shirt from the floor and cleaned Mark with it, still straddling him.

"Did we make noise? I think I might have sobbed.."

"Nothing to worry about." Johnny caressed Mark's cheek with his thumb.

"Jungwoo always looks for signs."

"He won't find any." Mark turned his gaze from Johnny to the blue shirt that was stained with the elder's semen. "You wore that shirt on your first day here. Will you let me have it? Leave it here when you go?" Johnny didn't answer bevause he didn't have to, his actions after tossing the shirt aside was enough of an answer.

He took Mark in his arms and looked down into his face. Johnny smoothed out Mark's hair with his hand as Mark drifted off to sleep. He continued to hold Mark in his arms.

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(a/n: once you go Johnny, you never go back 😩👀🙉 -wise words by mark knee. this is the longest chapter i've ever written and it just had to be a smut. every time I write "penis" i die a little inside, honestly, had an entire existential crisis writing this smut.)