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They had become eachother that summer and long after every forked road in life had done its work this would always be true. Their lives scarcely touched in those weeks together but they had crossed to the other side where time stopped and heaven reached down to earth and gave us that ration of what was from birth divinely ours. They could look the other way and speak of everything but they would always know. They had found the stars, Mark and Johnny, and that was given once only.

Six months later, Hanukkah.

It was a foggy day at the Lee villa in Winter. Mark walked in the countryside that surrounded the villa. He crossed the gate and entered the house. Mark walked through the kitchen and up the stairs. The telephone rung and Mark ran down the stairs to answer it, he had an expression of excited expectancy on his face. It was Johnny, calling from Chicago.

"Mark? Are you there?"

"I'm here, I'm here. How are you?" Mark held the phone closely to his ear as he leaned back into a chair.

"Fine. How are your parents?"

"Fine too... I miss you." Mark spoke longingly.

"I miss you too. Very much." There was a long beat before Johnny continued speaking.

"I have some news."

"What news? You're getting married, I suppose." Mark joked, laughing.

"I might be getting married this spring." Mark stopped laughed and leaned forward in his chair.

"You never said anything." Mark felt dumbfounded.

"It's been on and off for two years."

"But that's wonderful news!"

"Do you mind?"

"You're being silly." There was a long silence and Mark's genuine congratulatory smile faded away as he weighed in Johnny's words. Just then, Mrs. Lee appeared and Mark handed the phone to his mother. "Why aren't you here? When are you coming? Mark misses you terribly, going around all the time with such a long face!" She and her husband exchanged greetings with Johnny. "You caught us in the process of choosing the new you for next summer." They spoke for a bit before Mark's father handed the phone back to Mark, who reached for it before they could hand up.

"They know about us..." Mark spoke with a lowered voice once he was sure that his parents had left the room.

"I figured."

"How?"

"From the way your father spoke- he made me feel like a member if the family... almost like a son-in-law. You're lucky. My father would've sent me to a correctional facility." Mark took a long breath in before daringly speaking.

"Mark, Mark..." Mark whispered out, he was desperate to recapture the intimacy they had shared during the summer. There was long beat of silence and Mark was starting to fear that he had made a mistake. "Johnny..." Johnny lowly breathed out. "I'm like you, I remember everything..." Mark had a soft smile on his face which was hidden by tears, this momentarily soothed him but was remembering really enough? If he was really like him, he should've never left, he should've looked him in the face, held his gaze and called him by his name.

It would've meant everything to him when they were still together.

Mark hung up the call without a goodbye and wiped away his tears, he walked towards his parents and Jungwoo who were at the big table spread out with application letters with photos attached. It was the ritual that took place every year, they would evaluate several letters of proposal sent by advanced graduate students in America or young aspiring scholars from there.

It was the ritual that brought about the choice of Johnny last year.

Mark entered the room, he looked over at the photos and the resumès. There were a half a dozen young men and a couple of young women. "This one?" But Mark wasn't interested in this, they all watched him leave the study in silence.

He entered the the dining room for the celebration lunch. Light was dimming outside the windows and Mark's mother and Jungwoo entered the room after him, placing the flowers and lighting up the candles. Mark crouched in front of the fire, his face lost in thought. The fire reminded him of summer, it brought him back to his time of self-discovery. He fought back the tears that were already streaming down his face as he thought about the last time he had touched Johnny, the last time he had kissed him and the last time he had loved him. The summer went by so fast, was it all a video?

He cried silently by himself as he experienced a wave of different emotions, he grieved for the loss of Johnny's touch, for the loss of Johnny himself. He came, he left. Nothing had changed. Yet nothing would ever be the same. All that remained was sadness and a strange remembrance. Mark was angry about the suddenness of the news, the phone call had opened a recently closed wound and it was now bleeding profusely. He momentarily brightened up as he reminiscenced about the memories that happened in the summer that was now slipping away from him.

"Mark... Mark." Mark's mother called out to him but Mark was so deep in his thoughts that only after a long beat after his mother called out to him did he turn towards the sound of her voice, towards the sound of the name that was once Johnny's.

End